The science of your death...

After cruising a few of my classmates blogs, I came across a bit that I thought was pretty funny. It was about having a physicist talk at your funeral to explain, in unequivocally scientific terms, the science of your death (unless I totally missed the point, in which case just stop reading right now because I'm about to make myself look like an idiot...). The concept thoroughly entertained me...all I could think of was having a rigid woman wearing a lab coat (obviously with a pocket protector...)wandering amidst all the grieving and crying, calmly speaking about photons, particles, and sciency laws that most people can't grasp. I imagined the confusion people would feel as their emotions came face to face with science, the ultimate emotion killer. As the physicist (let us call her...Alice) tactfully maneuvers through the funeral throng (assuming people actually like you of course...) stoically delivering the facts, she can't help but notice the clasped hands, twisted faces, and cheeks glistening with tears. "There is a scientific explanation for all of this," she thinks to herself, "why don't these people understand?". As she continues to spread the truth, she can't help but notice that the sorrow is turning to anger..."these people don't appreciate this logic" she calmly mutters to herself. Alice begins to realize that she is being surrounded, pushed into a corner by the once sobbing gathering turned irrational mob..."they don't want to hear this" she says in a slightly wavering whisper. Soon, people are demanding to know why Alice is there, ruining their grieving process with crazy talk of photons, particles, and sciency laws they don't understand. "He's gone, show some respect...what about his soul?!?" the funeral attendees bellow in chorus, surging forward in a wave of black cotton. Panic..."He wanted this!" Alice screams, finally showing a crack in her utterly unflappable mask of scientific truth..."He wanted you to know that according to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of him is gone...he's just less orderly!". "Ohhhhhhhhhhhh..." say the mourners collectively, all nodding in approval of their new found scientific enlightenment... OK, obviously this would never happen anywhere except inside my oddish headspace but I still found it immensely funny..."According to the law of the conservation of energy, not a bit of you is gone; you're just less orderly." was the quote by Aaron Freeman that was in my classmates blog that really made me think about this as I could see myself saying something very similar (at what would probably be the most inopportune time to sound like an academic blowhard ever). Seriously, how much would people hate you for dropping science into a completely unscientific scenario like a funeral? As great as I think it would be, probably a lot...so, note to self...keep your mouth shut when people are grieving, no one wants to hear your scientific rationalizations about the source of their irrational emotional behaviour.